This might be a loaded blog, so beware.
In my lifetime, I have had many friends. In the last 10 years though, I feel like I've lost them all. All of them going all the way back from elementary school until now. Not that I have met MANY new people that I feel close enough with to actually call them a friend...and facebook doesn't count, I'm talking about REAL LIFE relationships, with people that I can interact with, go to the movies with, or hang out with on a weeknight just talking about life. All this time, I've wondered what went wrong.
The other day, I figured it out.
I happened.
I am the common denominator. I am not a person that people want to be close to.
Except for a few cases, I can't think of what I did to lose all of those people. Life happens (marriages & babies in my case), people move, you lose contact. But even for the ones I really tried to stay in contact with, I find that I don't even talk (e-mail, text or in person) with them anymore. There are some that I tried harder with, but I feel like those were just a one-way street--me trying, they just entertained me, didn't really care if we were friends or not.
You've heard the phrase "not good boyfriend/girlfriend/marriage material"? Maybe I'm not good "friend material". I know a time or 2 (probably a lot more) my mouth has gotten me in trouble. I'm not always good about thinking before I speak. Lets face it though, who hasn't struggled with this? I know I have been hurt by words that other people have said, either to my face or behind my back. Something I have learned the hard way to remember, no matter who you're talking to, what you're saying ALWAYS gets back to the person you say it about. Guess that's why our parents taught us not to gossip...
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